I love Christmas. I’m a sucker for all things Christmas – tinsel, sparkling decorations, lights and candles, Christmas songs and carols, Hallmark Christmas movies, and the concept of the magic of Christmas. Along with rum balls, white Christmas, trifle and Christmas cake. However, I’m also well aware of the not so peaceful and joyful aspects – overwhelm and stress that can surface at this time of year, especially were relationships are concerned.

This morning, on contemplating relationships afflicted with Christmas induced stress, my thoughts went to the Ho’oponopono prayer, the ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness. Forgiving those we are connected to is the key to peace and this process is a nice, easy little activity that can be used to provide some relief at Christmas time – and all throughout the year when it all gets too much.

Firstly, let me share a story. I always enjoy a good story and there’s a few around Ho’oponopono including the one about how clinical psychologist, Dr. Stanley Hew Len, took this process and applied it to inmates in the Hawaii State Hospital some 30 years ago.

The story goes that he entered the clinic for mentally ill criminals and essentially took what was a violent, oppressive and decaying environment and transformed relationships between inmates and staff and the physical environment itself through the process of Ho’oponopono. He never met the inmates, he simply asked for their files and in looking through their files he would energetically tap into the inmate and become aware of a feeling or emotions that arose and then he would say the Ho’oponopono prayer.

Dr Hew Len held the belief that we are all one and that the world around us, as we perceive it (given others often perceive what seems to be the same event so different from the way we do ) is our creation and our responsibility. So, what he perceived in the inmates was really just an aspect of himself that was coming to his awareness to be healed. In healing that aspect of himself he healed the situation.

So Ho’oponopono can be used for solving any problems, be they emotional, mental, physical or spiritual.

The Ho’oponopono process

When confronted with a challenging situation, or person, the first thing is to just observe how you fee about it, or them, and then recognise that there is a deeper reality to the problem and that it’s a pattern that will repeat itself unless it is resolved at a deeper inner level.

To blame others or the situation will ensure you experience the problem again and again. If that’s what you want, no worries and no need to go any further.

However, if you want to be free of the emotional and physical pain and relationship dramas then this process is about loving and forgiving yourself enough to do this, so the pattern and the stress is released and healing and freedom is created.

After all the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself.

1. Start with a few deep breaths, just focusing on your heart centre in your body

2. Think about the relationship, person or situation that is creating stress

3. Repeat the mantra – I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you – over and over again, out loud or in your mind, until you feel a sense of calm when you think about the person or situation, or until your mind can’t stay focused on the situation or relationship.

There’s a lot more that could be said about the energetic meaning of these words and the concept of ‘oneness’ behind this process so if you’re that why inclined feel free to explore it further. There’s heaps of info out there, but for the purposes of this little blog it’s worth knowing that you don’t need to know how electricity works to turn on your Christmas lights. In the same way you don’t have to know what’s underlying this process in order for it to give you the stress relief you’re seeking.

Wishing you peace, joy, lots of glitter and much Love this Christmas!